WMAA recently interviewed Officer Al Ramos. A Chicago Police Officer familiar with the affects, consequences, and habits of those committing acts of domestic violence. Members submitted questions for Officer Ramos to answer.........along with his answers are the responses of a survivor of domestic violence.  Here is her story.....


WMAA: What advice can you give a woman who is abused by her husband, and says she really wants to press charges and have him locked up, but is afraid because he will most likely bond out in less than 24 hrs?

OFFICER RAMOS : When a person is arrested for domestic battery, he/she cannot have any contact with the victim for the first 72 hours or he/she will be considered in violation of the bond. After being arrested, the person must see a judge in the morning and, based on his/her criminal history, the judge will determine if the person can bond out or be held until the court date. My advice to the victim would be to relocate (e.g., family member or friend’s home, hotel) and to call the police immediately if the abuser does have contact with him/her so that the person is arrested again and held until the court date.

MONICA:  The fear is there whether you report him or not.  I never even called the police but I still lived in fear of him every day.  You need the police report(s) to prove he is a criminal and you are a victim.  The cycle of violence will not end on its own, you need to act and protect yourself physically and legally.  And yes, your fear will increase once you call the police and/or get an Order of Protection (as I did) but it is a necessary step to get beyond the violence.


WMAA: If a woman does press charges, how do you keep the abuser out of the house once and for all? How long does it take to get a restraining order and what happens to the abuser who completely ignores the restraining order and goes after his victim again? Are there any new laws coming out to give the woman more of a fighting chance?

OFFICER RAMOS: “Restraining order” is a term that is no longer used. First, you should get an order of protection as soon as possible after the abuser has been arrested so that he may be notified of the order. For Chicago residents, this must be done on a weekday at 555 W. Harrison, which is Domestic Violence Court. You need to bring a copy of the police report and go before a judge who will determine the conditions of the order of protection (e.g., no visits at work, no contact by any means). Once the abuser is made aware of the order, he/she can be arrested if any of the conditions of the order are violated. The order is only useful if the protected party is willing and prepared to report any violations by the abuser to the police.


WMAA: How far can a police officer go with a man or woman who has abused their spouse? Do you get any training in how to handle domestic disputes?

OFFICER RAMOS: When police respond to a call of domestic disturbance and observe any signs of injury, they can arrest the abuser without the victim signing a complaint. However, it may get tricky if both parties have injuries. The outcome then depends on other factors, such as credibility of the parties involved and an officer’s experience in handling similar types of cases. Officers receive domestic violence training both in the police academy and throughout their career.

MONICA:   Since I never filed a report, my only experience with the police was when my ex came to get belongings from the house after he was removed.  It was a pre-arranged time and the police had to be present when he came.  I don't know what I expected but I must say the police were very professional and even supportive of me.  There were always 2-4 officers in the house, 1-2 would stay with me, the others with my ex.  They ensured my ex did not come near me or frankly even address me.  The officers that stayed with me were friendly and understanding.  They answered many of my questions and further encouraged me to call anytime if I need them.  I got to know a few of them and I am confident they watched out for me as they promised.


WMAA: If you respond to a call and the wife injures her spouse in defense, can the husband press charges against the wife, even though you have had several calls of domestic abuse where the husband beat up the wife?

OFFICER RAMOS: Yes. In any situation, either party can press charges. The outcome, again, would depend on the specific circumstances surrounding each incident (e.g., evidence, interviews, credibility).



WMAA: As a police officer, what can you do when you are called to the same location repeatedly and, even though the beatings keep getting worse, the victim will not press charges out of fear?

OFFICER RAMOS: By law, after a police officer observes injuries, he/she is mandated by law to arrest the abuser even if the victim refuses to press charges out of fear.

MONICA: Here is that word fear again.  While I was in the violent marriage I certainly had a twisted definition of that word.  I was afraid of failing at my marriage, afraid to be labeled an abuse victim, afraid people would find out, afraid to be alone (he was the only one that loved me, right?) and oh yeah, afraid of him.  Now I see that where I should have focused my fear on is my personal safety & preservation, first and foremost. Not only is the violence a cycle but the violence escalates as time goes on.  This is where everyone's story is different.  For me, the level of violence escalated rapidly in 1.5 years but for someone else it may take 5 years to get to that level.  That's why it is hard to compare stories/experiences.  But what is common is that the cycle will not end on its own and it will not get less violent, only more.  By calling the police and filing charges, you are taking steps for self preservation and to get beyond the violence.  Either way you have fear, it becomes a matter of which "fear" will ultimately end the cycle.   I look back at the most violent episode with my ex.  After it ended would have been the time to call the police and report it.  I cannot imagine calling them while he was in the throes of the violence but I probably could have found some time alone to call afterwards.  At the time I thought he was really sorry because he cleaned up all the blood and broken household items as well as helped with my wounds.  I now realize he was just cleaning up the evidence and closely watching me to ensure I would keep quiet.  If only I saw then when I can so clearly see now.

We would like to thank Officer Ramos for his input. if you have further questions regarding domestic violence, or other issues, please contact us.


What is Abuse? - A Warning List

Many people who are being abused do not see themselves as victims. Also, abusers do not see themselves as being abusive. People often think of domestic violence as physical violence, such as hitting. However, domestic violence takes other forms, such as psychological, emotional, or sexual abuse.

Domestic violence is about one person in a relationship using a pattern of behaviors to control the other person. It can happen to people who are married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated, or dating.

If your partner repeatedly uses one or more of the following to control you;

• pushing, hitting, slapping, choking, kicking, or biting
• threatening you, your children, other family members or pets
• threatening suicide to get you to do something
• using or threatening to use a weapon against you
• keeping or taking your paycheck
• puts you down or makes you feel bad
• forcing you to have sex or to do sexual acts you do not want or like
• keeping you from seeing your friends, family or from going to work

YOU HAVE BEEN ABUSED!!

Remember threatened or actual physical violence may be illegal. Consider calling the police for help

Personalized Safety Plan

1. Having important phone numbers nearby for you and your children. Numbers to have are the police, hotlines, friends and the local shelter.
2. Friends or neighbors you could tell about the abuse. Ask them to call the police if they hear angry or violent noises. If you have children, teach them how to dial 911. Make up a code word that you can use when you need help.
3. How to get out of your home safely. Practice ways to get out.
4. Safer places in your home where there are exits and no weapons. If you feel abuse is going to happen try to get your abuser to one of these safer places.
5. Any weapons in the house. Think about ways that you could get them out of the house.
6. Even if you do not plan to leave, think of where you could go. Think of how you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house - taking out the trash, walking the pet or going to the store. Put together a bag of things you use everyday (see the checklist below). Hide it where it is easy for you to get.
7. Going over your safety plan often.

If you consider leaving your abuser, think about...

1. Four places you could go if you leave your home.
2. People who might help you if you left. Think about people who will keep a bag for you. Think about people who might lend you money. Make plans for your pets.
3. Keeping change for phone calls or getting a cell phone.
4. Opening a bank account or getting a credit card in your name.
5. How you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house - taking out the trash, walking the family pet, or going to the store. Practice how you would leave.
6. How you could take your children with you safely. There are times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives in danger. You need to protect yourself to be able to protect your children.
7. Putting together a bag of things you use everyday. Hide it where it is easy for you to get.
   

ITEMS TO TAKE, IF POSSIBLE

Children (if it is safe) Money
Keys to car, house, work Medicine
Important papers for you and your children Birth Certificates
Social Security cards School and medical records
Bankbooks, credit cards Driver's license
Car Registration Welfare identification
Passports, green cards, work permits Lease/rental agreement
Mortgage payment book, unpaid bills Insurance papers
PPO, divorce papers, custody orders Address book
Pictures, jewelry,things that mean a lot to you Items for your children (toys, blankets, etc.)

8. Think about reviewing your safety plan often.

If you have left your abuser, think about...

1. Your safety - you still need to.
2. Getting a PPO from the court. Keep a copy with you all the time. Give a copy to the police, people who take care of your children, their schools and your boss.
3. Changing the locks. Consider putting in stronger doors, smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, a security system and outside lights.
4. Telling friends and neighbors that your abuser no longer lives with you. Ask them to call the police if they see your abuser near your home or children.
5. Telling people who take care of your children the names of people who are allowed to pick them up. If you have a PPO protecting your children, give their teachers and babysitters a copy of it.
6. Telling someone at work about what has happened. Ask that person to screen your calls. If you have a PPO that includes where you work, consider giving your boss a copy of it and a picture of the abuser. Think about and practice a safety plan for your workplace. This should include going to and from work.
7. Not using the same stores or businesses that you did when you were with your abuser.
8. Someone that you can call if you feel down. Call that person if you are thinking about going to a support group or workshop.
9. Safe way to speak with your abuser if you must.
10. Going over your safety plan often.

WARNING: Abusers try to control their victim's lives. When abusers feel a loss of control - like when victims try to leave them - the abuse often gets worse. Take special care when you leave. Keep being careful even after you have left.

NEW DOMESTIC VIOLENCE MONITORING LAW

We are pleased to report that Governor Rod Blagoievich here in Chicago signed a domestic violence monitoring law that lets courts order abusers to wear GPS monitoring devices once they have been given an order of protection.  Once the abuser comes within a certain distance of the victim,  not only are the police notifed, but the victim is notified as well.  Hopefully this will help those who are victims of stalking, harassment or domestic violence  gain back their own personal freedom. 

The family of Cindy Bischof helped push the law in Springfield.

Bischof was killed in March when she was gunned down in the Elmhurst parking lot where she worked by an ex-boyfriend who then turned the gun on himself.

The law goes into effect Jan. 1, 2009.